when one cannot weep silently

there's a girl who cannot say a word

for the strength to speak again

is nowhere to be found,

amidst this raw and horrific 

emotion that keeps convincing her 

that if she allows herself

to feel anything at all,

she'll drown.

there's a girl that cannot keep

the wound that's throbbing 

from bleeding all over that

living room floor, in front of

friends and family

and people who barely 

know her.

as the tears fall from her eyes

and she holds her knees to her chest,

two words echo in her mind, 

over and over again,

"weep silently", she begs herself

as the pain falls onto her cheeks

ripping right through her.

the sound of a heart breaking 

is not one you'll soon forget.

disbelief and agony all

caught up in her shaking shoulders 

and desperate efforts to 

catch her breath.

the sound of someone breaking 

for the weight of all their burdens 

is not a pretty one.

they'll sound as if the honesty is 

being choked out of them,

as if they're fighting to keep it 

inside of them.

grasp onto this, there is one 

who sees all things; 

no matter how many people do not 

believe, there was indeed a witness

that bitter day.

those crimson eyes so full of 

truth and love will not simply forget,

nor will they allow any injustice 

when He comes back to judge with 

mercy and righteousness.

for He requires blood, for iniquities

there is only one who can heal us,

only one true atonement.

there is one who interceded,

and yet my heart breaks as i say this,

"why does he not want Him?".

for can't he see that there is

is so much joy in being free?

there's a girl who carries the burden 

of a love far stronger than any 

despair or bitterness that may claw

at her, trying desperately to consume her,

a love that calls saying,

"my dear, forgiveness is the only way".

there's a girl so exhausted for the cruelty

this broken world is, she begs Him to 

let her be done loving. 

to be free of this burden for 

the broken and the wounded,

a burden she carries everywhere,

while they stand in their sin and 

refuse to return to the Fathers mercies.

He says, "I've never given up on you".

there's a girl who knows this is far from 

over, though He's allowed her this burden,

the strength of her heart is the promises 

He's made and the way He's 

shown us so perfectly, what true love is.

for his freedom

swift feet

stumbling across the rocky terrain

as his heart beats

faster than ever before

eyes that never quite meet anyone's 

filled with the guilt of the knowledge

of who he has become.

this is how i imagine him

i cannot bear to believe that he is 

self righteous enough to not know

somewhere, 

deep in his soul,

hidden underneath the

 layers and layers

of fake personas 

and masks of versions 

of himself he 

chooses to pull out when 

his old one wears down, 

i pray that he knows, 

that he's running from his sin 

and the truth of who he is.

so when i imagine him,

i see him running, 

trying desperately to hide from 

the light that he cannot allow 

himself to be seen in, 

for the transparency of his lies.

but i do not just see a broken,

shameful boy, 

i see the presence of the Redeemer

calling out every three steps,

"where are you?".

no matter how far he runs

to the east or to the west,

the deep love of our Messiah 

will find him there.

He's calling out to him, 

that old fire in His crimson eyes,

"I know you. I've seen your pain

and I have indeed seen all that you've 

done; it's only pardon will be blood.

love, can't you see that i've ransomed 

you, my perfect one? you are standing

in your own sin and iniquity,

refusing to accept that i've

already died so you could be free".

my heart aches.

how long until the broken see that 

the Redeemer longs for their freedom?

how long until the ones i love no 

longer sleep unaware they are running

out of precious time?

ransome

if my heart is breaking

for the ones i've loved deeply

that have left you,

if i do not have mere words

to express the 

dead weight of this burden,

but only tears enough 

to drown in and 

weeping to last the night,

then how much Yashua,

are you hurting for the 

wounded

and the broken?

the lost sheep that have 

wandered from you,

i know you love them

so much more then i ever

will or do.

if my heart cries out,

for the ones not even living

selling themselves to the enemy

for empty promises of 

satisfaction and happiness,

then Jesus please,

give me the strength to not 

give up for the heaviness

this pain is.

my heart will not be silent,

while the wounded refuse to see,

the healer stands before them,

on the other side of humility;

healing and restoration lye on 

the shores of the sea of burgundy.

His grace has been poured out for us;

Yahushua pleads for the sinners,

as He bleeds out Israels

ransome.