spirits dwelling place

if one could simply

climb inside another's skin

and see and experience everything 

that lies within,

behind these masks of who we portray 

ourselves to be.

we, trying to conceal ourselves,

are terrified of vulnerability.

if we let our guard down,

what would they see? 

i wonder if, we could show them

everything

and be fully understood,

would we have the bravery?

and

i've often wondered who 

i would let in.

i'd show,

there's a wild garden of overgrown

chaos woven in between the 

maze of memories i carry 

inside of my mind.

i would show the still dead branches

on the trees grey with winters sleep;

the biting cold air,

it chills you to the very bone,

and that hard soil appearing to be

lifeless through this brokenness revealed,

it was once a part of me,

now it is nothing but the distant echo 

of a faint memory.

but i'd lead you on, because these

things though difficult

will help you to understand me.

so, through vulnerability i'd let you see,

all the reasons why i carry ghosts 

everywhere with me

and these eyes they are still heavy 

from all the nights the deep blue

ocean fell from my eyes, 

when i wept in raw grief

for the one i've lost forever, and for

the broken girl i was.

i'd lead you away from that garden of 

death and sin and i'd let you watch 

as i pulled the key from the pocket that

rests over my heart,

sturdy thing though long forgotten 

amidst that reckless 

worthlessness.

i'd put it in the lock and you might

hear a sigh of relief as it opened up

the door to the next garden

we are left to explore.

this one is different, the light is not

completely void of that grey undertone 

but there's a hue of soft rose gold 

and yellow sunlight filtering through the air,

and the air,

you'll notice has the fragrant aroma of

spring rain and the long awaited

hope of new life.

now taking in this, the dark contrast of

that awful stench of near death and 

sickness reeks of fear and evil and 

it's hard to comprehend you 

did not suffocate in that garden we

were just in.

this garden is different, there's soft green

grass just sprouting from the tilled soil,

all the rocky stones of bitterness 

have been dug up and cast aside 

and now there's regrowth and joy gently 

tugging you to listen to the birdsong and 

rejoice in this life.

i'd show the contrast of my heart amidst

that anger and pain threatening to 

consume that girl so weak in her utter

belief she was worthless;

the contrast when you look at the girl

now standing, yearning, grasping 

for the life she has found in 

her redeemer,

now she's filled with the spirit 

and the joy of this healing,

letting go of sin and the weight of

bitterness. 

this garden inside me is now grown

in gentle seeds of faith 

planted by the one who is the truth

and i want to show how he has 

graciously nourished the earth he 

tilled up inside of me, 

returning me to him.

i'd show the faithfulness he has shown me,

in keeping his word,

 i have learned there is no deceit in him.

he has certainly turned my mourning into 

dancing, filled my heart with the deepest 

joy i've ever known,

showing me so graciously that the 

love of the truth 

was indeed always inside me.

he has made my soul into a beautiful 

garden filled with the scent of fragrant roses,

a gentle bed of green grass sprouting 

under my feet as i dance to the 

rhythm of my heartbeat and 

the melody of the sound

of early morning birdsong

as the golden sun rises 

every morning reminding me 

of the love and grace he as shown me,

this garden is his spirits dwelling place,

yes, he is inside of me.

so i'd show you the heavy sorrow

of that girl i once was,

revealing the despair and loneliness 

i was in will make it clear, 

the light and joy i have inside
 me now is the evidence of 

his deep love for all those broken,

his truth and mercies have

indeed changed me;

for he has redeemed me.