take a breath
no please
don't give up on me
what if my lungs
stopped working?
every time i am consumed
by another memory.
it's that coffee shop
or that restaurant
that stupid road
that alleyway,
all those places
that only mean
something to
you and me.
i walked by the
new morning bakery
two weeks after you left me
i couldn't breathe.
that town haunts me.
and i'd like to think it's
just your ghost
but even more than that
it's me.
the ghost, the shadow
of the girl i once was.
the girl you said
you loved
with your whole heart,
you said she was
your everything,
in the cold night, right?
i'm not that girl anymore.
i made myself say
goodbye to her
when i hugged you so
tight it must have
hurt you.
there are still traces of her,
this must be the longest
goodbye in history.
she lingers, unwilling
to leave.
some days are harder
than others,
but it's slowly
fading.
by slowly i mean
barely.
it'll take some time for
this wound to heal.
i know myself well
enough by now
to know this
will be a scar
i can't cover up.
it's straight across
my chest,
right over my heart.
you are forever a
part of me,
even if just for
the traces
of the wound
you left.
i've never been
one to fake things,
i refuse to let the pain
be made into anything
less than a scar,
a warrior mark.
because what are wounds
until they begin healing?
they are bleeding.
he speaks to me in the chaos
when i cry into the
bitter night,
he tells me of the joy
he has for me.
there's this beautiful time,
coming.
we'll be above these sorrows;
where he's made every
weight of sin beautiful,
on the shores of his
grace for us.
all of our wings,
can you see they'll be
speckled with burgundy,
the tide will wash
them white as snow
as we finally learn
the true definition
of home.
