fighter part two

this little house so familiar

as she tip toes down

the hall

white walls 

stained with fingerprints of

where she's leaned against the

bones of this empty corridor

skeleton it has been as she's pulled

her scraped knees to her chest

and all the times she's let

herself weep 

with no allowed comforting

closed and broken, holding that pain in,

somehow twisted belief that 

brave and strong mean 

"alone".

old faded books on shelves 

where she sits

and reads a story on the pages 

written by a younger, hopeful girl,

words to a boy that meant so much

more to her than they ever would to him.

sorrow seeps in like cold air 

drifting across the floorboards now 

as she walks through these

empty rooms to sit once again,
with her back
to the front door,

tears fall down in streams,

as she's filled with the weight,

of remembering.

though this house is far too familiar,

there are things only time have

or could reveal to one so set 

on her belief that

she was stronger on her own.

three long breaths as she rises to her feet,

no she's not the girl,

anymore who believes in 

self inflicted suffering.

three fast beats as she reaches for

the handle,

this house no longer is her hiding place:

there is a freedom,

in turning the rusted lock 

on that heavy oak door.

though it took a pain deeper 

than words know to speak,

she's learned that no one else can

choose this for her.

a light so gentle and a voice so tender

as His presence always is,

her Abba whispers 

"there you are".

He's always waiting for her, 

on the other side of that door, those

eyes speak words not yet 

uttered. 

He's a fighter, a fighter I say,

with eyes of fire. 

fighter part one

she's closed.

the windows, the doors, all the vents.

she's concealed herself inside 

the house she built.

no part of her is simple.

she's a tangled, stubborn, complicated 

mess.

and no one wants to untangle her 

more than Him.

and He begins to.

one conversation, one window and

one vent at a time. 

He starts to get a look, a glimpse 

of who she really, really is.

but she's scared, and still unsure

of herself and Him. 

so she closes off again.

is it fear?

or her insecurity?

doubt that what He says is true?

because He is true.

He's true. 

His words, once spoken

leave marks in the deepest parts 

of her; of you.

and yet after knowing this

she still closes off every part of herself.

still broken; she's never open.

He will pursue. His fight for her is 

never ending.

everlasting.

for His love for her runs deeper,

so much deeper than her rejection.

He's a fighter, a fighter I say, 

with eyes of fire.

ancient script

as love letters go,

my heart quickens as I read 

the words written in 

ancient script 

inscribed not merely with ink 

but inspired and pressed, no engraved 

for eternity by the one

 who holds the keys to death and hades,

 but most importantly, our perfect promise; 

Yashua's paradise. 

though long ago my young heart learned 

to distrust those who say they'll protect, 

defend and fight for me, 

through patience only One entirely 

outside of time could have,

 He's revealed to me how faithful and true 

He has been to Israel, and still will continue to be. 

Who have I been, to question His love for me? 

when He spent all of time writing in, my perfect beckoning? 

His Spirit whispers tenderly, 

"love, I will teach you to trust, once again".

like a sapling grafted in, 

my heart is filled with assurance

 as I've come to understand this: I am now His. 

promises given long ago 

to young Zion still stand strong, 

His words of hope my only truth

 to hold onto through the many storms 

I've weathered through, 

like a lighthouse in my darkest, 

most dreadful night, 

He is faithful, 

always waiting on the near shore for me. 

I've heard the sound of many voices

 singing in one harmonious unity, 

our souls longing for Him to find us pure; holy. 

Yahoshua, hear the sound

 of my brothers and sisters longing,

 our hearts cry together, 

Zions voice is growing louder, 

as the day of the Lord approaches quicker,

 the spirit and the bride say, "come"

for my little bird

little bird, I've seen your spirit soar
your voice the soft notes of
pure innocence 

and in your gold brown eyes I've seen a joy 
so rare often times it's been mistaken
for ignorance 
though I know better now:
you have long guarded and protected it, 
knowing it's true weight and value. 
my little bird, you're truly a rare and precious gem, 
don't let this world take from you

 a gift given only by the hands of 

the One who has fashioned your very soul 

and every part of you that makes you who are.

hold onto that
and with His truth,
let your heart be bold,
showing kindness where you only receive hostility, 
and grace where no grace has been given,

 for truly to fulfill His greatest commandments is to seek Him, 

and to put others first, above yourself. 
you are my perfect sunshine on my many grey days, 

the smile that's contagious every time i see your face,

 the one who taught me again how to laugh freely and without restrain, 

you are arms to embrace

and the one of many who make our place

 here on this earth a golden shadow of our true home.

camas worship nights

summer nights 

filled with 

the gentle presence 

of a peace so tender

yet altogether 

overwhelming 

guitar picking 

and a perfect melody 

sung by ones drawn 

fiercely by the One 

true Saviors love 

and endless mercy. 

listening 

to their worship 

for indeed He is worthy 

of all praise,

Jesus I wonder, 

do you see this as a 

Holy offering?

for You alone are Holy, 

set apart from every 

earthly thing. 

what beauty, to listen to 

my brothers and sisters 

worshiping the Creator, 

to see the joy of praising Him

in spirit and in truth, 

how we were always meant to. 

It's the sound of believers singing a 
song of thanksgiving, 

because this truth they have found: 

His love is everything. 

It's the rhythm of the drum 

echoing their heart beat; 

Jesus make us Holy, set apart, as You are. 

new song

it's like,

the lyrics to the song you keep forgetting,

but you hum new ones because,

some songs were only ever sung once,

with people you don't even know now.

and though they are no longer with you,

there's an emptiness where they once were,

a spot in your heart still waiting to be filled.

it's the way

you search every face you pass on the street,

and when you're in certain cities you walk by places

that make it hard to breathe.

 it's the way you feel constantly,

as if there is someone missing.
you keep looking

around, hoping and yet dreading it'll be 

their eyes you'll meet in the face across the room

but then your heart sinks as you remember,

they are no longer there.

some songs are meant to be hummed in the 

dead of night when you fear you're losing 

your mind, when sleep never seems to come,

when the melody keeps playing in your head and

your heart feels like a heavy weight in your chest.

some songs are given new lyrics with the days

that pass by replacing who you were with who who

you are now, and though it's painful 

there is freedom when you realize; 

who you've been is not who you 

have to continue to be.

it's like,

the new song He puts inside of you, 

and the words now aren't of pain and sorrow,

but joyful praise.
it's the melody of pure freedom,

you breathe it in as you learn to surrender with 

each exhale all the lies the enemy has told you,

and He replaces each one 

with His perfect truth.